No, Not One
by Vashti
Summary: Simon and Kaylee are left to mind the ship.


**Title**: No, Not One  
**Author**: vashti  
**Pairing**: Simon/Kaylee  
**Rating**: PG  
**Spoilers**: the BDM  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Serenity, Firefly, the characters, um…Mal's tight pants… None of that. They are all the property of Joss Whedon and his affiliates.  
**Author's Notes**: my first Firefly fic, written for the Bubble fic-a-thon on LiveJournal. My sincerest apologies if I've mangled the characters beyond recognition. Concrit is more than appreciated. And if, after reading, you have a gut need to beta, contact me and we'll discuss.  
**Distribution**: Bubbelefic archive and my fic archive on lj. Anyone else, please ask.  
**Dedication**: DuckieNicks, for pushing me into the Bubbleficathon in the first place.

No, Not One  
by vashti

The run was simple and easy. So simple and easy that Mal had decided to only take Zoe—because he'd be a right fool if he didn't have some show of force behind him—and had given the rest of Serenity's crew leave. Course with less danger came less profits, too. It wasn't ideal but, all things considered, Mal had taken it and not grumbled. Mostly. He'd kept Jayne from grumbling by not filling the big man in 'til they were planetside. Weren't no point making things worse'n they were in an enclosed space when Jayne could work out his issues in a perfectly good barroom brawl somewhere as was out of the way.

At least that was how Mal had put it to Simon while they were standing around in the open hold waiting for Inara and River to put in an appearance. Simon could only figure that the Captain had to be a fair piece annoyed to have shared his plan. Or maybe, like it was with everyone else on Serenity, the dynamic of their relationship was changing. Funny, Simon had always thought that Mal would threaten to push him out the nearest airlock if he ever laid a hand on Kaylee, when he'd had two spare moments to think about someone other than River. And now that his mind was on it, Mal had threatened to space him. The only difference between what Simon had thought would happen and what had in fact happened was that Simon hadn't found himself standing in front of an airlock when the actual conversation took place.

The two women came walking down the stairs from the catwalk, deep in conversation.

"Mighty nice of you two ladies to decide to join us." Mal tipped an imaginary hat to them as they neared. "Beautiful day out. Sun's shining. My, it's like we don't have a care in the—" Which River took from his hand and put on her head as she and Inara continued out the open hatch.

Mal looked at Simon. "I'm not sayin' I liked it better when your sister could kill a man twice her size without worryin' about splittin' a nail…"

"She still can."

"Yeah, well, I'm not sayin' I liked them days better any. Man gets used to thinkin' he might wake up the next mornin'. What I am sayin' is now as she's sane, she's stranger'n ever." Sighing, he scrubbed the back of his neck with one hand then turned to go.

Zoe and Jayne, who had wandered over once Inara and River had made their appearance nodded before trailing Mal out the open hatch doors. Simon turned to Kaylee, who had been standing with them—though he didn't remember hearing her talking—but she had turned to watch their shipmates go.

Standing at the foot of the hatch doors, Mal turned around. "You sure you don't wanna hitch a ride into town, darlin'? Leave the good doctor to do his watchin' by his lonesome?"

Grinning, Kaylee half sprinted to the open hatchway, shaking her head. "Oh no. That's all right, Cap'n. I'm sure there's plenty I can do on Serenity while you guys are out."

His hand went to the back of his neck again. "Almost what'm afraid of. Just…just try to keep your doin' away from places where folk gotta eat. Or where I might personally have to rest my backside for an extended period of time."

"Captain? I don't think I get you."

He snorted. "No, but I bet your man does."

Simon could feel his face burning. There were absolutely no secrets on Serenity. No, not one.

"You two be nice to my boat."

"Captain!"

"All right, all right. Doc, you be nice to my boat. And my mechanic."

After they had gone out of waving distance, though Simon was sure not one of the three had turned around after their initial goodbyes, Kylee came sprinting back from the door. "Simon, what was all that about with the Captain? I might take offense at hintin' that I'd do anything to hurt Serenity 'ceptin' he sounded a might disturbed."

Knowing that Mal imagined them having relations in odd places was leaving him "a might disturbed" so he knew where the man was coming from. But he wasn't about to enlighten Kaylee if she hadn't understood. Might give her ideas when he actually had work to do. "Nothing, Kaylee. You know how the Captain is about Serenity."

"I know." She looked around the hold with more love and affection that she showed him. "As if I would do something to hurt this old girl."

She was genuinely perturbed by the thought and so he reached out and took her hands in his. "I'm sure he didn't mean it in quite that way. You know he's not always good with words and getting things to come out straight."

"Oh tell me about it. If him an' Inara don't get this thing as between'em workin' soon I—"

"Will lose the betting pool?" He grinned.

Kaylee punched his arm. It was a good punch. "That too," she conceded. "But what I was gonna say is it's like to make me pull my hair out. The first time was bad enough. I don't know if I can handle this again."

She had a point. Watching Mal and Inara dance around each other was better than any program the women he'd known liked to watch on the Cortex.

"Although now I guess I have someone to compare notes with. Other'n Shepard Book that is." Her brightness dimmed.

"River, you mean," he asked hoping to take her mind of the still fresh grief of the Shepard's pointless death. No, not pointless but certainly not deserved.

Kaylee cheered instantly. It was one of the things he loved about her, that she never wallowed in darkness, not when there was an alternative. "Oh yes. Not that I couldn't compare notes with River before, just that now they make more sense, y'know?"

He did.

"An' when they don't, she usually explains'em to me."

In his personal experience that only confused him more, but if his sister and his lover had a working line of communication between them, then he was happy. He had a sneaky feeling that could come back to haunt him, however.

"All right, so what do you have to work on?" he asked her as he steered her away from the open hatch and toward the interior of the ship.

"The doors!" Kaylee wiggled out of his light grip to hit the button that would close the doors behind him. "And the Cap'n wanted me to leave you on your own."

"You want to what?"

"I wanna give Serenity a bath."

Simon put the soapy dish he had in his hands back into the water-filled basin. True to his word, neither he nor Kaylee had done anything that could make anyone blush. Busier than ants, they hadn't spent most of the day together until deciding to take a late lunch. Cleaning up from lunch, however, meant cleaning up from breakfast since Jayne had apparently forgotten that it was his turn. "There isn't enough water out there for giving Serenity…a bath. Not this far from town at least. Maybe not even in town."

Kaylee shrugged. "Oh I know. It's just that, y'know, since the last time we washed her down—"

"To get the paint and the bodies and gore off."

"Yes. That." She flicked water at him out of the rinsing bowl. "Still, she looked good."

"It wasn't hard to do, considering."

That got more water flicked at him. "I mean she looked really good. Can't rightly say either Mal or Zoe ever cared one way or th' other about the state of'er. Not the outside, leastwise. And you know how we gets all busy an' such. Or can't go planetside for a piece."

"You mean running for our lives when a deal goes bad? Or when the Alliance happens to come sniffing after us?"

More water went his way. "A goodly portion of which they do 'cause of you an' River."

He flicked water back at her. Suds included. "Yes, well…"

Kaylee giggled. "Oh come on, Simon. Tell me you didn't like seein' Serenity all spruced up an' pretty."

He'd thoroughly enjoyed just how happy the sight of Serenity "all spruced up an' pretty" had made Kaylee. And he hadn't minded being crew to a semi-respectable looking ship. Hadn't minded officially being crew to her at all. "I'll admit it was nice. While it lasted."

"An' I just want it to keep lastin' is all." She went back to her rinsing and drying.

"Well you know they say that the mechanic is the soul of the ship."

Kaylee looked up from her work. "They do—Oh! Simon!"

He'd dropped a cup of sudsy water over her head. "So if you've had a bath then it stands to reason that—"

"I'll show you reason."

"Oh no! No…Kaylee…" Simon backed away, hands raised.

She'd picked up her basin of semi-soapy rinse water.

"Kaylee, _xin_ _gan_, I was just joking."

"Well think about it," she said as they circled each other around the table

"I am."

"If'n the mechanic's a boat's soul, then her doc's gotta be the heart, right?"

Really, he should have seen it coming. River had always said that Kaylee was "the brains in this operation." He just hadn't completely understood the possible ramifications of what she'd meant then.

"I suppose so."

"Then why ain'tcha standin' still, _xin_ _gan_?" She crept up on him, raising the basin as if to throw its contents at her. "_Zhè_ _bìng bù huài_. It's just a little water."

It was never good when she singsonged like that. Simon could see the water sloshing around the edges of the basin. "Kaylee…"

"Simon…"

He put more of a warning into his voice. This was going to end badly. "Kaylee…"

She was so close to bursting into spontaneous laughter that she was more likely to get herself covered in sudsy water than him. What kind of _lièzhì_ boyfriend would he be then? Simon took two quick strides toward Kaylee, reaching for the basin. "It's going to spill."

" 'Course it is," she grinned. "All over you, silly."

"No, Kaylee. All over you the way you're holding it and playing around." He tugged at the basin.

Kaylee tugged back.

A wave broke over the side and splashed all down her front. "Simon!"

"Kaylee, honey, I'm sor—Oh!"

Kaylee covered her mouth with her hands, letting the empty basin drop as she backed away. Laughter bubbled up from between her fingers.

Simon threw his head back, spraying Kaylee and the wall behind him with water. "Kaylee," he growled and lunged for her.

Squealing she leapt away, slipping and sliding as she skirted around the table and chairs.

"I'm going to get you!"

"I hope so!"

He couldn't hold on to his false anger as he too joined Kaylee in her sparkling laughter. Sliding into a wall and rolling over a chair stifled him somewhat, but he was soon back on his feet. He almost caught her once, but she grabbed the drying towel and threw at him.

"Ha! Weapon!"

"What?" Kaylee made the mistake of turning around just as Simon lunged forward, the short towel held in both hands to form a loop: "Gotcha!"

"I was hopin' you would." She had a grin that could light up the 'verse, his Kaylee. Standing so close to her while she beamed up at him was nearly blinding, but he'd been blind before. Kaylee, however, didn't try to hide who she was but gave freely of herself.

"You're blinding."

Shaking her head, Kaylee reached up to push Simon's sodden hair out of his face. "What kinda crazy talk are you on about now?"

He tightened his grip on the towel, pulling her closer. "Not crazy talk. You talk."

She tugged on the back of his hair. "You callin' me crazy, doc?"

"I'm calling you a supernova. And I go blind every time I look at you."

"Simon, that don't make no sense."

"I think it does."

Then he was kissing her. Kissing her and drowning in the light and fire Kaylee put off just being alive. He hadn't known, before, that love could be this. He'd thought it was vulgar.

He was no better than _méiyôu_ _mûqin de xiao gôu_. And she loved him anyway. She loved him any—

"Now…Doc…"

Simon resisted the instinct to jump back. He still had that towel in his hands and Kaylee was hiding her face in his neck. Good manners dictated that he not expose her. Besides, she was laughing.

"I thought we had ourselves an understandin'. I specifically said not where folks as got to eat, and you specifically said you wouldn't." He and Mal seemed to be sharing the same distressed embarrassment, even if Kaylee didn't. The captain was looking everywhere but at them. Unfortunately the mess wasn't that big and they'd made a mess in the mess which just kept drawing Mal's eye their way…

Simon felt for him. He really did. He felt he wanted to push the man out of an airlock.

A polite cough confirmed the niggling suspicion that Zoe was also standing somewhere in the doorway, albeit out of sight. "Actually, Sir, the doc didn't reply to your askin' at all."

Mal turned to her. "Really?"

" 'Fraid so, sir."

"Not even some kind of insinuated promise that I wouldn't lose five years off my life just for takin' a stroll on my own boat?"

Simon couldn't see Zoe, but he could only assume by the silence that she was considering it. He leaned over to speak into Kaylee's ear. "Would it be very difficult for you to make a second exit out of the mess?"

That set her off giggling into his shirt again. "As if I would do such a thing to Serenity."

"Well, sir, the doc did get himself mighty red so I'd say he knew what all you were talking about."

"Ah ha! And so we are back where we started: Doc…didn't I ask you, nice as you please, to keep your doings away from my dishes?"

Which was when Kaylee decided to add her two cents. "Oh we haven't even gotten to the really good parts yet, Captain."

Simon had no idea who was more embarrassed, him or Mal. It was going to be a fair close competition.

Coughing, or maybe choking, Mal stepped away from the door. Apparently Zoe took that as her cue and took that final step into the mess, also clearing the door. "In that case…can't see how's there's any call for you two to stay on here."

"Oh, but, Captain! Look at the mess we made! Simon and me, we'll clean—"

"We'll just clean it up later," Simon interjected quickly. He started tugging her toward the door. Having to pass between Mal and Zoe wasn't his first choice, but letting Kaylee go on was not an option. "I'm sure the water will evaporate soon enough anyway."

"Si—"

"Positive," Mal agreed wholeheartedly. "Please. Go." He gave them a tight smile that, if they were down in medical, Simon thought might be more grimace than not. "Have fun."

Pulling Kaylee behind him, he headed for parts as far from the mess as it was possible to get on such a small ship.

"And stay out of my engine room, too!"

Simon could have sworn he heard Zoe snort.

There were no secrets on Serenity. No, not one.

inFinite

_xin_ _gan_ - sweetheart, darling  
_zhè_ _bìng bù huài_ - it's not that bad  
_lièzhì_ - inferior; shoddy; trashy  
_méiyôu_ _mûqin de xiao gôu_ - motherless cur


End file.
